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Lyrics
Other Rock Stars Suck

I said people suck and you agreed
You didn't think to say "hey, are you talking 'bout me?"
I should have known it would end like this
Every job you've ever had you up and quit
The boss was mean or the hours were long
How cruel of me to make you sing your own damn songs
and find you opportunities to sing on stage
Where do you find musicians who act their age?
Hypocrites and drug addicts, I don't give a f*ck
In fact I'm glad you're leaving because you suck

I don't need a band and I don't need you
You're dumb, and you smell like poo
You can't play with my guitar anymore
I could be a rock star if it weren't for
the fact that other rock stars suck

I said people suck and I meant it too
The top of the list is drummers like you
"Yeah, I'll join your band, it's rad and unique
Yeah, I'll join your band for a couple of weeks..."
What does commitment mean to your type?
Two jams a week as long as there's hype?
What does it take to keep your attention?
Screamo and noise? And oh, did I mention
Your attitude stinks. I don't give a f*ck
In fact I'm glad you're leaving because you suck

I don't need a band and I don't need you
You're dumb, and you smell like poo
You can't play with my guitar anymore
I could be a rock star if it weren't for
the fact that other rock stars suck

You can't play in my back yard
My back yard, my back yard
You can't play in my back yard
My back yard's full

I said people suck and you agreed
You didn't think to say hey are you talking 'bout me?
But of course I was, you f*cking quitter
You'll have to excuse me if I sound bitter
A year and half of constant work
gone in a moment, you f*cked up jerk
This isn't a hobby, it's my f*cking career
Now I have work alone and I wanna f*cking cheer
No more compromises, I don't give a f*ck
In fact I'm glad you're leaving because you suck

I don't need a band and I don't need you
You're dumb, and you smell like poo
You can't play with my guitar anymore
I could be a rock star if it weren't for...
I don't need a band and I don't need you
You suck and that's all you do
You can't play with my guitar anymore
I could be a rock star if it weren't for
the fact that other rock stars suck
The fact is other rock stars suck


My Boyfriend's Girlfriend (Isn't Me)

There's lots of kinds of people in this world
and I'm, well, I'm not like other girls
How do I explain this properly?
My boyfriend's girlfriend isn't me

Well obviously one of them is
But there's another girl of his
And I know her and she knows me
and that would be great if it was just us three

But she has a guy who's even more pretty
and a long-distance thing in another city
He and his wife come by when they can
and they have a kid who calls me his aunt

Just when I thought it was all too crazy
I tried to draw our family tree
There's nothing wrong with extra love
But the paper wasn't big enough

Chorus:
Of all the ways I've ever dated
it's never been so complicated
The chain can extend to eternity
'cause my boyfriend's girlfriend isn't me

We spent Christmas eve with my boyfriend's dad
Christmas day with my folks and the feast they had
New Years, he went to his girlfriend's city
I mean the one who isn't me

She brought him and her other guy
to her company picnic and I won't lie
I wasn't used to being alone
so I want someone new of my own

It isn't easy to find a fling
'Cause when you hit on some tasty thing
They say "Aren't you with that guy?"
You say "Oh he doesn't mind.

Have you ever seen 'Big Love'?
Know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge..."
And they say "Oh, so you're a Mormon?"
"No! ...I'll explain from the beginning..."

Chorus

When the partners get together,
the primaries and all the others,
we give the newbies a little primer
and we all get out our day timers

Calendars as far as the eye can see.
"When can I see you?" "When are you free?"
"Who gets me on my birthday?" and then
"Does anyone have an extra pen?"

The kids have the best celebration.
Gifts from three dozen odd relations.
There's Uncle Jackie's girlfriend, Mary,
Ed who is her secondary...

Ed's new boyfriend brought along
his ex, whose fling is going strong
with someone that I used to know
and just became my boyfriend's beau...

Chorus

A couch where four can snuggle up
Suddenly isn't big enough
And even so we don't give up.
There's no such thing as too much love.


Liar

You were a friend, I gave you my trust
I never suspected that you might be slime
You did something you knew would disgust me
and then you lied for three months at a time

Chorus:
You're a liar and I hope something
really bad happens to you

You heard me right, I want you to suffer
like a McDonald's employee
Maybe if your time is taken up by stress
you won't have time to annoy me

Chorus

I hope you wake up at four AM
every night for the rest of your life
I hope you only find ten thousand spoons
when all you need is a knife

Chorus

Not something tragic like your horrible flaming death
Just something really really annoying
Something that makes you seethe with every breath
That would be really worth enjoying

Chorus

I hope you get an inexplicable rash
from something in your home you can't get rid of
I hope you have lots of stupid fights
every time you think you're in love

I hope you end up living with your folks
and listen to them nag about chores and money
I don't want something tragic like you losing all your limbs
but hopefully something just as funny

Chorus x2


She Never Says 'Not'

This is the story of a girl
who finds pleasure in the world
Sometimes she forgets
to notice the little things
but mostly everything's ok
Especially on a day like today

She stands on a bus that has three seat rows
picking off petals: a three leaf rose
Sipping, and tapping, her tea, her toes
They're painted in pink and cyan
She wrings her hands

"He loves me, he loves me..." She never says 'not'
Her toenails show in the sandals she bought
The bus is so crowded, the temperature hot
Her tea gets less so as she stands
It warms her hands

He's there at the bus stop, he looks at the floor
A flurry of motion and she's out the door
He looks up, he looks in her eyes, il adore
He drops everything, smiles "Hey man"
He moves to stand

Her heart opens up like a fan
She takes his hand

She could be happy just knowing he's around
Sometimes joy is hard to lose once it's found
She counts the ways he loves her and forgets the 'loves me not'
She could find happines in everything she's got

The petals of a rose, the polish on her toes
The smile of a boy who loves everything he knows about her
Everything he knows about her


My Place or Yours

I like the one where I rescue a princess
'Cause I'm large and masculine, and ...kinda dirty
'Cause I keep going down holes, and I can shoot fireballs out of my hand
and I go to a castle where I jump on a monster, yeah.

What do you think? My place or yours?
If I go home alone I'll end up doing chores
So take my hand, tell me your name, let me come over and play video games
All night long

I like the one where I have my own little fairy
and I rescue a princess, (man, I sure like those princesses)
and I have a big long sword, and I can shoot white stuff out of my sword,
and I go to the deep dark dungeons where it's kinda scary, yeah.

What do you think? My place or yours?
If I go home alone I'll just do chores
So take my hand, tell me your name, let me come over and play video games
All night long

I like the one where I'm a big, strong, manly bounty hunter
But I'm soft and feminine on the inside
and my worst enemies can suck my life-force out of my brain
and I go around fighting pirates in my spaceship, yeah.

So what do you think? My place or yours?
If I go home alone I'll just end up doing chores
So take my hand, tell me your name, let me come over and play video games
All night long

What do you think? My place or yours?
If I go home alone be really, really bored
So take my hand, tell me your name, let me come over and play video games
All night long

The Point Game

Me and my guy have different taste.
He likes red hair and a skinny waist.
For me the goth look doesn't disappoint.
We have this game where we try to spot
all the people we think are hot
and when we do we always get a point.

A skinny guy in a band t-shirt -
I say "point."
There's a girl in a really short skirt -
He says "point."
A short haired tomboy - we both say "point."
It's nice when we agree so easily.

Chorus:
It isn't hard to find
a cutie if it's on your mind.
Do it with your partner
whatever the weather.
It makes us blush
when we get a new crush.
I know we'll keep looking,
looking forever.
The point game always
brings people together.

We add up our points. If I'm the winner
then he has to buy me dinner.
We whisper and giggle and walk hand in hand.
You should try it. Find some hotties,
cute faces and sexy bodies.
See if you find more than your partner can.

A piercing enthusiast with spiky hair -
I say "point."
A girl with visible underwear -
He says "point."
A punk rock couple - we both say "point."
There's one for you and one for me.

Chorus

Me and my guy have different taste.
He likes red hair and a skinny waist.
I like guys but he's not into that.
But there are times once in a blue moon
when the person that will make me swoon
and the one he likes will completely match.

Chorus
The point game always brings us together.


Hotter Than I Was

We were together,
You were a liar.
I deserve better.
You deserve what you get.

Now when you see me,
This is what I’m going to be:

Chorus:
Hotter than I was,
When I was with you.
Hotter now because,
I’m no longer with you. (x2)

When you see me
You won’t believe
This could be me
‘Cause when you leave
You lose all your
Rights and all your
Privileges
For the future.

I belong to only me.
This is what I’m going to be:

Chorus:

I don’t love you.
I don’t miss you.
I don’t trust you.
And I don’t forgive you.

I was kind of average.
You took me for granted.
Now what I have is,
Making you feel worse.

Now when you see me, This is what I’m going to be:

Chorus:

We were together,
You were a liar.
I deserve better.
You deserve what you get.

Now when you see me,
This is what I’m going to be:

Chorus (x2)

Psycho Girlfriend
Cowritten with Bart Romanek

It wasn't very long ago,
I got myself a girl.
Then she called me every night,
She said I was her world.
A friend said, "How's your girlfriend?
Should we throw a celebration?"
I said, "We haven't had the
Girlfriend status conversation"

Chorus:
Psycho girlfriend followed me home
Psycho girlfriend listened on my phone
Psycho girlfriend still has my key
Psycho girlfriend, why do you love me?

She came around my house at night,
When everything was still.
Before she walked away she left me
Presents on my windowsill.
Three days is not enough for me,
So I put it to an end.
But now she's pissed and now I see,
I've got a psycho girlfriend.

Chorus

She's sure not a time waster,
Carries around a turkey baster.
I thought it was just a f*ck,
But she hired a U-Haul truck.

Chorus

She said that she would die,
If I didn't phone.
But I just want to know,
What's she doing in my home?
But her life is on my conscience,
And she's telling all her friends
That I'm using her and she'd be lost
If this ever ends.

Chorus

All her stuff is in my house,
I've got to burn and purge.
Before you get a girl beware
The psycho urge to merge.

Did You Sleep Last Night?

You need to stop taking the world on your shoulders
and you need to make your own warmth when it's colder outside
You need to take breaks when you've worked for hours and hours
You need to take time to enjoy life and smell the flowers
'Cause there's so much to enjoy
and so much that's in your own power

Hey Kaitlyn, how are you today?
Did you sleep last night, or did you worry yourself into the shakes?
Hey Kaitlyn, is it one of those good days
when anything is possible and no one is as awesome as you?

You need to know you don't have to control it all
You need to make yourself vulnerable and small sometimes
You need to give things to somebody else to make
You need to know that it's ok to make mistakes
'Cause you're so capable
but sometimes all give and no take

Hey Kaitlyn, how are you today?
Did you sleep last night, or did you worry yourself into the shakes?
Hey Kaitlyn, is it one of those good days
when anything is possible and no one is as awesome as you?
Kaitlyn did you sleep last night?

You need to stop taking the world on your shoulders and
You need to make your own sunshine when you go inside

Hey Kaitlyn, how are you today?
Did you sleep last night, or did you worry yourself into the shakes?
Hey Kaitlyn, is it one of those good days
when anything is possible and no one is as awesome as you?
Hey Kaitlyn, enjoy yourself today
Get some sleep tonight, and remember, you can always take a break
Hey Kaitlyn, make it one of those good days,
'cause anything is possible and no one is as awesome as you
Hey Kaitlyn, how are you today?
Did you sleep last night?
Kaitlyn did you sleep last night?

But I Don't Love You

Chorus:
I don’t love you; of this I’m sure.
Love is a sickness. You are the cure.
Love is a sickness. You are the cure.
I don’t love you; of this I’m sure.

I love the rise and fall of your chest
As you sleep, and the way you breathe soft when you rest.
I love the shape your mouth makes, an upward sliver,
When I’m being particularly clever.
I love your hair, the way it tangles,
Defies gravity, sticks up at odd angles.
Your seriousness, and your mouth,
In a hard line, in a smirk, in a pout.
Expressive, severe, and always true,
I love all these things, but I don’t love you.

Chorus

So I’ve set myself up in this gilded cage,
Set you up, set you up for the fall that comes later.
It’s all there for you, every step of the way.
Paved in hope, see how I lay,
This path of disappointment out for you.
The one walked by many more before you.
I don’t love you now, shouldn’t love you ever.
Why start a love that must be severed?
But this is what I want. This is what’s true.
I love this cage, but I don’t love you.

Chorus

Your eye is not ice, nor earth, nor fire.
There’s surely no love in it either.
No emotion so base, or simple, or pure.
I don’t love you; of this I’m sure.
Your eye is not a window into your soul,
It isn’t a light that makes me whole.
Just an eye, not a crystal, not a way,
To peer into you, to find what I pray.
To find what I want, what I hope if true.
I love your eyes, but I don’t love you.

Chorus

Though I don’t love you now, allow me the favour,
Of thinking this is how it will be forever.
Allow me the lie of knowing I’m safe,
Safe from the world in my cage.
Let me be fooled, let me be a fool,
Let me be fooled for now.
Show me how you believe the love that you see,
Even if the only one I’m fooling is me.

Verse 1/Chorus Mix

I love all these things, but I don’t love you.

Matching Set of Three

Let me tell you 'bout something I hate
I was making my dinner and I broke my plate
and the little sharp shards went across the floor
I used to have a matching set of four

but now I have a matching set of three
A matching set of three
and one has the other two but feels like me
if I didn't have you

and I went to the store
to buy one more
but they only come in sets of four

and I'd have a matching set of seven
but they'd be uneven and I'd still want one more

So now when we send invitations for tea
We can only ask one 'cause that makes three
We can't ask a couple, there'd be no plate
unless one of us just never ate

'cause we have a matching set of three
a matching set of three
and I don't know what to do 'cause where would I be
if I didn't have you

I could go to the store
and buy one more
they only come in sets of four

I'd have a matching set of seven
and I could throw out three but that'd be such a waste

You make me feel so much better
when things go wrong
'cause as long as we're together
I can sing a song
and we'll get along

Let me tell you about something I love
You can take a situation and make the most of
it, you didn't mind that I broke that plate
you're so calm and I love that trait

'cause now we have a matching set of three
a matching set of three
and that will do 'cause you have me
and I have you

We could go to the store
and buy some more
They come in sets of four

and we'd have a matching set of seven
and that would be heaven and we won't need any more
That would be heaven and we won't need any more

They might be odd for the rest of time
but so are you and I like you just fine

Promise Me

I said do yourself a favour; avoid this guilt in future.
Promise me you won’t cheat.
I said plan ahead; ask my permission instead.
Promise me, promise me.
You said no.

Chorus:
What’s so hard about trying not to hurt me?
What’s so hard about honesty?

You can do what you want. Just ask first, be upfront.
I said promise me you won’t cheat.
It was you who was crying, I said just tell me you’ll try.
Promise me, promise me.
You said no.

Why did you do it? Why did you do it?
Did you really need it?
You could have told me. I wish you’d told me.
Why did you keep it a secret?
‘Cause if you’d have done it and told me the next day,
Then I might have forgiven you.
You know that now I can’t trust you,
And I’ll never believe in you.

I said give me just one reason. Something I’ll believe in.
Promise me you won’t cheat.
If it was drinking that did it, just don’t drink when you’re with him.
Promise me, promise me.
You said no.

Chorus

I said do yourself a favour; avoid this guilt in future.
Promise me you won’t cheat.
It was you who was crying, I said just tell me you’ll try.
Promise me, promise me.
You said no.

Make It True

I wrote a love song
Years before we met.
I’ll never forget
The way I used to feel.
That was my first love,
I thought it’d last forever.
In a year it was over,
Took another year to heal, but

Chorus:
If you ask if I wrote that song for you,
I think you know what I would do.
I’d say yes, it’s all for you.
‘Cause everyday you make it true.

The words of the song
Were hollow for a while.
Then you made me start to smile.
Made things right that once were wrong.
I edited the words.
Sad things became pleasant,
Past tense became present.
It was for you all along, and I know

Chorus

All I wanted was someone
To hold me. Someone kind.
No one told me just to wait,
‘Cause you’re the best I’ll ever find.

Instrumental

I wrote you a love song
Years before we met.
I’ll never forget
The way you make me feel.
You are my true love.
We’ll make this last forever.
We’ll sing that song together.
‘Cause this time it’s for real, and

Chorus

If you ask if I wrote that song for you,
I think you know what I would do.
I’d say yes, it’s all for you.
‘Cause everyday, oh everyday,
Everyday you make it true.

Merry Nondenominational Holiday

You may believe a savior saved your soul
You may believe he hasn't come yet (He or she, I mean)
You may believe there's a god looking out for you
Or one that doesn't care or none at all, but don't forget

Winter's a good time to hang out with your friends
Or your family, if you've got 'em, and eat good food
Warm up by the fire, give tokens of your love
Store bought or home made, but don't just sit there and brood

Chorus:
Happy yuletide, Happy post-winter solstice
Happy December and new year's
To everyone I know, no matter where you go or what you do
A very merry nondenominational holiday to you

You may believe it's all too commercial
"They've taken Christ right out of Christmas"
You may believe they hijacked pagan ritual ("One god, my ass")
You may just laugh and call it giftmas

But winter's a good time to hang out with your friends
Or your family, if you've got 'em, and eat turkey, or tofurkey
Warm up by the fire, give tokens of your love
So try and be happy and perky

Chorus

Whether we believe it's all fun and games
or a chance for piousness and love to blossom
I'm sure we're all agreed the day off from work
or double normal wage is truly awesome

Chorus

So don't complain so much
Happy holidays to you

Out of the Storm

We go the same way
Same time every day
You're there at the stop
six o'clock

I met you at Christmas
snow crush and the listless
stare of tired shoppers
I offer my mittens

Chorus
Your hands look so cold
there with nothing to hold
The pink of your face
Could I embrace
Let's get in
Out of the storm
My hands are cold
but my heart is warm

Everything's melting
The spring rain is pelting
You're there at the stop
six 'clock

Please take my umbrella
I'm under a spell
Wet hair in your eyes
You surprise me with smiles

Chorus

Through the winter
I was in stasis
You got me moving
You were an oasis

An island of beauty
Surrounded by darkness
All was cold
But you were a spark

Days grow longer
Feelings are strong
I've been learning
All along
I was wrong

We go the same way
Same time every day
You're there at the stop
six o'clock

I met you in darkness
But all is not right
How can this be you
Now that I see you in light

Your hands were so cold
There with nothing to hold
The pink of your face
How could I embrace you
Let me in out of the storm
My hands are cold

Give me your mittens
My thoughts you controlled
Give my umbrella
to me to unfold
Give back my life
before I'm too old
My hands are burnt
and my heart is cold

That You Suck

I really don’t wanna be mean, but f*ck
How long will you flog yourself for me?
If you keep saying that you suck,
Eventually I’ll agree.

You want me to think you can be replaced.
We all deal with our own devils,
But I can’t guarantee the safety of your face
If you drag me to your level.

You want me to think you can be replaced?
You want me to think you can be replaced?
How about I rearrange your face?

You choose to be a drop out,
And say you just have bad luck.
You say that everything falls apart,
When you have a good girl to f*ck.

You say it’s better not to try
Than end up disappointed.
How about I help you with your thumbs?
Do you want to be double jointed?

How can you say it all falls apart?
How can you say it all falls apart?
How can you end when you never start?

How long will you crawl through the muck
And say it’s how you have to be?
If you keep saying, you keep saying,
You keep saying, you keep saying.
If you keep saying that you suck,
Eventually I’ll agree.


Stop Messaging Me

I go to check my mail,
Your name is on my screen.
You ask about my day
So casually. Like
Nothing else has changed.
What’s with this crap that’s on my screen?
Don’t care about your f*cking day.
Makes me wanna scream ‘cause

Chorus:
I’m not your girlfriend anymore.
So glad that I don’t see you now.
I’m not your girlfriend anymore.
Stop messaging me.

And as if to make things worse,
You call me pet names like
Your hunny.
Like you don’t even care whether
I even like that sh*t.
Will this go on forever?
I didn’t even like those pet names
When we were together.

Chorus

And if you see me on the street,
Do me this one favour please;
Pretend like you don’t know me.
Just walk away.
And if I see you in the park,
Even if it’s late and dark,
I’ll do my very best not to
Smash your face in.

I go to check my mail,
Your name is on my screen.
Your user icon
Shows you by yourself.
And it makes me kind of happy.
Think it’s good for my health,
To see you left unwanted
On the shelf.

I’m not your girlfriend anymore.
So glad that I don’t see you now.
I’m not your girlfriend anymore.
Did you know you’re a lying cow?
When you became a cheating whore,
I got out the best way I knew how.
I’m not your girlfriend anymore.
Stop messaging me.
Stop messaging me.
Stop messaging me.
Stop messaging me.
So please stop messaging me.